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Hello My Loves,
This week, I’ve selected a message that I think a lot of people can relate to.
The question reads: "I have friends, but I want to expand my circle. How do I go about making new friends in my 20s (or later in life)?"
I love this question because friendship, especially in adulthood is ever-changing. One day, you feel like your circle is enough, and the next, you realize you're craving new energy, deeper conversations, or just people who align with the version of yourself you're becoming. To the writer, thank you for your honesty. Let's talk about it.
First things first: wanting to expand your circle doesn't mean your current friends aren't enough.
It just means you're growing, and with growth comes a need for different connections and new experiences. Maybe you've outgrown certain dynamics, or maybe you just want to meet more people who share your evolving interests. And sometimes, it's not even about outgrowing people-it's about realizing that no one friend (or even one group of friends) can be everything to you.
Your friends may love you deeply, but they might not always be able to show up in the ways you need. Maybe your best friend from college doesn't love traveling the way you do, or your childhood friend is at a different stage in life and can't relate to what you're going through. That's okay. Different friendships serve different purposes, and expanding your circle allows you to have more spaces where you feel seen and supported.
I'm glad you've acknowledged what you want to do because that's already a huge step forward. So many people sit with the feeling of wanting more connections but never act on it-either out of fear, comfort, or the assumption that new friendships are something that just happen, rather than something you create. By recognizing that you want to open yourself up to new people, you've already started the process.
Now, it's just about taking action.
1. Put Yourself Where Your People Are
The easiest way to make new friends? Be where they are. If you want friends who love reading, go to a book club. If you're into fitness, take a group class or join a running club. If you're exploring new hobbies, sign up for something. The key is to be intentional. The more you surround yourself with like-minded people, the easier it is to find those natural connections.
2. Be Open-And Actually Engage
Here's the thing: you can show up to every event, but if you're standing in a corner on your phone, it won't do much. Making friends requires effort.
Compliment someone's outfit, ask a genuine question, or even just make eye contact and smile. It's the small moments of openness that lead to bigger conversations and, eventually, friendships.
3. Nurture the Connection
Meeting people is one thing, but turning them into friends? That takes effort. Be the person who follows up. If you meet someone cool, send a quick message: "Hey, it was great meeting you!
Want to grab coffee sometime?" People appreciate intentionality. Friendships don't just happen-they're built.
At the end of the day, expanding your circle isn't about replacing anyone; it's about allowing more people into your life who align with different parts of you. And remember, the best friendships come from showing up as your most authentic self. So be open, be intentional, and let the right people find you.
Sending you love x
I hope this helps more than just the writer! If you've ever felt this way, drop a comment below or let's talk about it in our IG Stories. Let's help each other. Kwezi is a common interest we all share so let’s start there.
Use this week to say yes to something new!
With Love,
-JK x
