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Hello My Loves,
I hope you’ve had a beautiful week since we last spoke. This week we are back with a deep thought I had recently. Being a single woman in your 20s is always taboo, commonly we find ourselves shifting the conversation to these common phrases to avoid the awkwardness, ‘I’m just focusing on myself’, ‘I don’t need a man, they are just a distraction’ and many more. While this is the case for some, it is important to evaluate why you are putting love on the back burner. Do you need time to grow individually or are you living in shame of romantic love?
How did I come to this conclusion? Well, I noticed when all my friends and family explain their singleness they all have the same answers. “I’m just focusing on myself”, “I’m doing me right now”, “I’m not ready for all that right now”, and ‘I don’t need any distractions”. Well, as I said in some cases this may be true. However, how do we all have the same cookie-cutter responses? And why are the responses always to compensate for why we are not in a relationship, instead of just why you are single? What I mean by this is, that single people always have to be doing something or disliking something. In some cases, this is internalised shame and most of the time we do not even realise we’re doing it.
Un-coding those feelings is asking yourself what is it you fear about love. Or is it that you fear never finding love? What are your fears? It’s time to have a conversation with yourself, because if you find yourself occasionally thinking about companionship or wondering why you haven’t found your person, you may just be finding excuses for the fact that you’re single, and in turn outwardly denying love. Outwardly denying love could lead you to block your blessing subconsciously. If you keep saying you are 'not interested’, you will eventually start behaving so. So how do we change that?
You need to first change your language, the more you speak it, the more you believe it. So instead of using the ‘cookie-cut’ responses. Focusing on either telling people it’s none of their business or answering with how you’re feeling. E.g., ‘I am open to it but I haven’t found the right person’. As much as I say this it is no one’s business. Only share what you want to. You just want to be intentional with what you’re telling yourself because words are harmful.
If you intend to meet someone, be more open to it. Go out more, interact with different social circles, date and find out what you like. These are our years! Don’t waste them in the house! And no I don’t just mean parties, if that’s your thing that’s fine, but if it’s not, go to dinner, travel, plan fun activities. Learn yourself and in turn, you’ll come across people with similar interests to you! I’ve always dreamed of the perfect Meet-Q, don’t we all? Well, it won’t happen in the house! You are worthy of love, in whatever it looks like for you!
You got this girl, Use this week to engage in some self-discovery!
With Love,
-JK xx
